Getting Tire’d

The Challenge: USA
Season 1, Episode 6 “A Civil War”
Original Air Date: August 10, 2022

Did anyone else notice that The Challenge: USA held a backwards spelling bee the same night “OTEV” was played on Big Brother?

A few weeks ago, I wanted to send The Challenge: USA’s editors a thank-you note. Now, I’d like to ask that they send it back. Last episode ended explosively, with Sarah threatening to munch Tyson like a turkey leg after he went against the “Survivor strong” alliance and voted her into elimination. Naturally, I expected this episode to open with more fireworks than my obnoxious neighbors before, during, and weeks after July 4th. But even after the momentum-killing Algorithm segment, nothing came of Tyson’s big betrayal – He and Sarah don’t have a single conversation all episode! I’m angrier than Sarah after a blindside!   

The World Has Turned and Left Tyson Here:

Despite the cast’s (& my) smug confidence that The Algorithm was going to “randomly” pair Tyson with Sarah, instead, Tyson’s new partner is Kyra. We don’t know it yet, but Kyra’s got a stomach bug (or maybe she’s unawarely pregnant if this show is going to be as poorly run as the other Challenges)… Either way, Kyra’s destined to spend the episode puking, and her partnership with Tyson is the first of several twists of fate that convince my inner-conspirator that The Challenge Gods are against Tyson. 

The second twist is that Sarah’s new teammate is her buddy Ben, a consistent competitor who’s just as eager as she is to take out Tyson. The third twist is that Tyson’s closest ally Angela is partnered with Domenick… again. After a quick six episodes, T.J.’s “Perfect” Algorithm is already repeating pairs. According to T.J., that means it was “mathematically impossible” for everyone to partner with someone new, except that of the people I mentioned in this paragraph, Sarah’s never teamed with Domenick and Angela’s never teamed with Ben. There, “mathematically impossible” problem solved! (Am I The Algorithm now?)

But instead, somehow, The Algorithm is an ever bigger lie than we originally thought. It was presented as a computer program that could generate new duos every episode based on the previous pairings of the entire cast, and wouldn’t repeat pairs until that was impossible. In practice, it seems like The Algorithm/the person pushing the buttons behind it is actually tracking each person’s partnerships separately. In this episode, Tyson is first to get a new partner, so The Algorithm chooses between all the women who’ve yet to be his teammate without considering the other men those women haven’t paired with, either. The same process is used to determine the rest of the duos. It’s a significantly less effective system than what was originally explained, but it wouldn’t be a modern Challenge if the format weren’t 10,000x more convoluted than necessary. 

Stop Playing Games:

At the Compound, the cast holds court… twice. In one room, Tyson tells his apostles (Get it?) that if Sarah is going to throw a tantrum whenever she experiences a setback, then maybe she shouldn’t play, both The Challenge and all other games too. In another room, Sarah talks Tyson’s “disrespectful” decision to promise her safety, then send her into The Arena. She also calls him a “bitch” who’s going to “pay.” 

Later, Cashay swears to Sarah that she only voted her into elimination to appease Tyson, even though last episode we saw Cash target Leo, Sarah’s then-teammate. Cashay also confesses that Tyson said Sarah’s go-to strategy is befriending people, then targeting them. Sarah acts offended, but earning her tribemates’ trust, then stealing their advantages (or raincoats) and voting them out was literally how she won Survivor: Game Changers. According to the Ringer podcast Tyson is hosting about the show, Sarah immediately told him about Cash’s blab. It feels too important to leave on the cutting room floor, but that’s what happens when each episode has to include five different time-lapses of the moon.

“This shit is getting dicey, yo.” No one begins a conversation like Enzo. Over dish-washing, he and David affirm their commitment to their alliance, based on a bond formed while both competed on Big Brother 22. Since this is the first time Enzo’s been featured in basically any capacity, it’s obvious he’s going to be important to the episode. After he talks in an early interview about wanting to support his family, he might as well skip the challenge, not collect 5,000 Challenge Bucks, and go directly to The Arena.

The Challenge:

More heights-over-water – So far, four of six challenges have been heights-based, half included a swimming element, and all but the trivia event followed the same structure: complete a physical task, then a brainy one (word puzzle, math equation, or tangram are production’s current favs). Where’re the mud pits? Where’re the wrestling matches? Where’s the eating? Or the flags? Challengers used to collect so many flags!   

Instead, “Containment” offers more of the same in a way-too-complicated package. To begin, pairs jump off a ledge into the water. Then, both teammates swim to their own ladders on opposite sides of the challenge site. Climb the ladder to reach a 40-foot shipping container that’s suspended 25-feet above the water. Painted both on top and inside of the container are four different symbol types. Both players count how many of each symbol appear on their shipping container, then climb a cargo net to another without symbols. 

From there, players use a rope swing to meet their partner on a central platform. They collect a key, then jump 25-feet into the water and swim to shore. On land, input your key into a device to obtain a card that assigns a numerical value to each of the four symbols. Multiply the total number of each symbol that appeared on both shipping containers by the corresponding number on the value card, then add the results together for a four-digit sum. If your answer is correct, sparks fly (literally) and your time stops. If no sparks start, teams jump into the water to restart the entire challenge. Fastest team wins all the usual prizes. Slowest team is subjected to all the usual punishments.

For a challenge that T.J. touts as “big” and “hard,” “Containment” majorly disappoints. Giant gray containers hanging in the air (some stamped with the same Hazmat-style symbols the franchise has used for years), a small rope swing, and math equations solved on dry erase boards does not an exciting challenge make. Several teams’ runs are also compressed into a montage set to music. Normally, I hate that, but “Containment” was so boring, maybe it was for the best…

However, the segment isn’t without highlights: Early on, Sarah misses a symbol on her shipping container, forcing her & Ben to redo the challenge after their math is incorrect. She also calls Tyson’s bestie Angela “guilty by association” when explaining her current targets, one of the funniest/worst phrases for a career cop like Sarah to use while describing strategy on a reality TV show.

Soon after, it’s Kyra & Tyson’s turn. Sickly Kyra is so exhausted when it’s time to meet Tyson on the platform, she doesn’t swing on the rope as much as she uses it to guide her directly into the water 25 feet below. She can’t complete another climb and is disqualified from the challenge alongside Tyson. Now, all players need to do is survive the rope swing to ensure their team doesn’t place last, and more importantly, to guarantee that Tyson’s team does… Too bad Enzo refuses to attempt the swing for fear of making more “doo-doo pies.” He & Justine are also DQ’d, and since Kyra at least tried to swing, she & Tyson inch into second-to-last place ahead of them. Justine & Enzo are sent into elimination.

Other notable teams include Shannon & Derek, because Shannon pulls her hamstring, then loudly announces it to the cast, Cayla & Leo, because Leo conquers his fear of jumping into water, and Desi & David, because they win. Now, both are 5,000 Challenge Bucks richer and eligible to compete in T.J.’s Final. After being “banished” on night one of Big Brother 21, David is the first man not named Kyland or Tyson to qualify for the Final on The Challenge: USA.

Dream Dashers:

At the Compound, challenge winners Desi & David, and losers Justine & Enzo, participate in a useless chat about who should compete in elimination. (These segments are starting to feel like filler…) Everyone is cagey and quiet, but didn’t we establish earlier this episode that David & Enzo are close allies? Why aren’t they helping each other? Are they unwilling to talk in front of Desi and Justine? Do the editors want to keep up David’s “wildcard” character they’ve spent a few episodes creating…? At the end of the conversation, everyone’s wants are unclear – To my surprise, Justine doesn’t campaign for her fellow Islander women to be left out of The Arena against her & Enzo, but maybe she knows it’s an unrealistic ask…

Later, Desi & David narrow their options to four pairs split into two subcategories: There’re the uncomplicated picks like Cayla & Leo or Shannon & Derek, two teams neither Desi nor David feel connected to, and there’re the ~big move~ picks like Kyland & Cashay or Tyson & Kyra (who’s still sick). Unfortunately, no matter which pair Desi & David chose to compete in elimination, it seemed likely that my dream for all four Love Island women to survive the episode was about to be dashed.  

The Arena:

The cast arrives at a sparse Arena setup: Piles of tires are stacked in the sand pit. Citing Shannon’s injured hamstring, Desi & David vote her & Derek into elimination. (I guess Shannon’s plan to fool everyone into thinking she was healed by putting on a workout set and publicly stretching didn’t work…) In an interview, Desi tells us a ~big move~ like targeting Tyson would’ve required voting someone who’s won a challenge into The Arena, and she & David didn’t want to be the first duo to do it. (The existence of a winners alliance is another important revelation from Tyson’s Ringer podcast that’s been curiously excluded from CBS’s edit…) After the reveal, Alyssa mocks David for sending Derek, another Big Brother player, into elimination – Did she forget what she did to Xavier a few weeks ago…?

T.J. explains the Arena game: Two platforms, one per pair, hold 60 tires each. Players transfer one tire at a time, running between the starting platform and an identical ending platform. First team to re-stack all 60 tires onto the second platform wins… But wait! “You didn’t think it’d be that easy, did you?” T.J. asks the competitors. Turns out, this elimination is called “Spelling Eeb,” and it’s *slightly* harder than what T.J. originally explained. Before all the tire stuff, first, contestants compete in a backwards spelling bee. Each player spells one backwards word – If you misspell a word and your opponent correctly spells theirs, then five tires are removed from their stack. 

Did the backwards spelling bee remind anyone else of the soccer penalty kicks that kicked off The Duel’s Final? Both are stagnant segments strangely tacked onto the beginning of unrelated physical challenges, and both favored one player/pair. On The Duel, Wes’ soccer experience easily earned him an advantage over Brad. In “Spelling Eeb,” Shannon & Derek’s words are “goggles (selggog)” and “shovel (levohs).” Justine & Enzo spell “cynical (lacinyc)” and “dredge (egderd).” All are basic words, but Shannon & Derek’s lot feels a lot simpler than Justine & Enzo’s. The results of the Eeb spell the same conclusion – Shannon & Derek remove five tires from their stack after Justine spells “cynical” with an “s.”

With a five-tire advantage, and Enzo as one of their opponents, Shannon & Derek’s win seems assured, even if Shannon’s hamstring is still pulled… But The Meow Meow must never be underestimated, especially when he works as an auto insurance adjuster – The man knows tires! And though that sounds toothless when Enzo says it, it’s not. While Shannon & Derek haphazardly position their ties in precariously high stacks, Enzo carefully arranges his & Justine’s in a flatter, pancake-style.

As I write about different tire-stacking approaches, I’m realizing that “Spelling Eeb” probably doesn’t sound like an exciting elimination… But it was! Despite their five-tire deficit, Justine & Enzo never fall all the way out of contention, and in the game’s final moments, though Shannon & Derek are in the lead, several tires fall off their platform! T.J. is screaming so loudly in suspense and support, he loses his voice! With every tire Shannon & Derek successfully re-stack, another four fall off. Poor planning squanders their advantages and costs Shannon & Derek the elimination – Justine & Enzo win! As they celebrate, Enzo has the cheek, the nerve, the gall, the audacity, and the gumption to tell Justine that they “redeemed themselves….” Only one of you needed to do that, Enzo…

Justine is killing the competition, and it would’ve stung to see her season end because Enzo refused to use a rope swing, but I didn’t want Shannon & Derek to leave, either, especially Shannon. She has the same lightheartedness as the franchise did about 20 years ago and I wish more modern Challengers shared her spirit. She didn’t get much screen time after the series premiere, but I hope to see her on another season. 

As for Derek, I rooted for him on Big Brother, but with his final Challenge interview, he praises himself and Alyssa for accomplishing their goal of completely fucking over The Cookout, as if he had anything to do with any of their eliminations… Would I watch him on another Challenge? Absolutely. Happily! But maybe not until a year or two after his & his BB23-castmate-turned-girlfriend Claire’s rumored upcoming Amazing Race run… 

Leftovers:

-More editing complaints: Now, a few Challengers have been eliminated who were shown engaged in at least one conflict/dramatic moment during the full season trailer. Problem is, none of that footage made it into any of the episodes prior to their eliminations: What about Shannon defending Cashay? What about Derek in tears? Similarly, there’s unexplained gameplay/strategy-related footage from the same trailer that’s already irrelevant after six episodes: Why did Domenick say “Big Brother & Love Island are working together?” All we ever saw was Cashay, an Islander, telling people to not trust Big Brother players. Most importantly, what about all the bar/club scenes? According to Tyson’s podcast, the contestants were out on the town almost every night, but we haven’t seen them party since the series premiere.

-It was clear that origin-show-based alliances are officially over after Cayla & Leo were partnered and we didn’t endure half a dozen reminders about how they’re both from The Amazing Race.

-As Kyland & Cashay are about to begin the challenge, Ky asks if Cash wants to be “thrown” into the water. “Don’t throw me. Don’t ever touch me,” she responds. It was an episode-highlight for me.

-Last episode, Cayla fast-tracked the Survivor alliance schism by telling Tyson that Ben was bitter about his challenge wins, all in an attempt to better her relationship with Tyson. But throughout this episode, Cayla is one of the few people to definitively align with Sarah/Ben in the aftermath of Tyson’s Arena blindside. Is Cayla that close to Leo?

-Derek false-starting in The Arena is one of the franchise’s most relatable moments.

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Thanks for reading! Come back next Wednesday for another Challenge: USA recap!