Balloon Battle

The Challenge: USA
Season 1, Episode 7 “State of the Unions”
Original Air Date: August 17, 2022

I’ve always said that not enough Challenge eliminations are determined by who knows more about Madonna’s marital history…

It’s fitting that The Challenge: USA airs directly after Big Brother, because even though this first season hasn’t been drama-filled, it’s sure been unexpected. Prior to the premiere, if you told me that competitors like David, Domenick, Casahy and Cayla would all be eligible to compete in the Final, I’d’ve thought, well, at least I know you didn’t read spoilers and are now trying to pass them off as predictions… 

Broken Trust, Broken Dreams, Broken Credit Card Machines:

Even the editors must be bored of opening every episode with The Algorithm’s partner “randomizing,” because the segment is over faster than Alyssa’s sarcastically supportive interview about being paired with Leo. Sarah & Tyson are also partners, a sigh of relief for Tyson fans because Sarah can’t target him while they’re teammates! The pair makes performative amends, but the trust between them is broken, if it even ever existed at all… 

At the Compound, Angela, Kyland, and Tyson chat. We heard about their alliance (built on protecting contestants with the most Challenge Bucks) several episodes ago via a quick explanation. But regardless of how influential the trio’s strategy has been, (which, according to Tyson’s podcast, is very – Apparently, they convinced all the richest players to work together, just like real life!) we’re only getting a reminder about it now because Domenick decides to target either Angela, Kyland, or Tyson… He’s just not sure which one, yet…

Elsewhere, Leo becomes the first cast member this season to be shown FaceTiming home, rarely an encouraging sign… We learn that he owns three bars and that the “credit card machines” have stopped working at all of them, leading to a $43,000 loss for Leo. If he’s making $43,000 in a weekend as a bar owner, then how is it worth his time to appear on The Challenge: USA? Did he come just to talk about cats?

During a tense conversation, Leo’s girlfriend tells him that he disappointed both her and his employees by not better preparing them to run his bars without him. After, Leo packs his luggage, but as he wheels it out of the Compound, he’s stopped by his current partner Alyssa. She demands he stay to ensure her own game doesn’t get “fucked up.” Challenge precedent is never consistent, and people in Alyssa’s position (unexpectedly partner-less) have been sent home before, so her self-interest is understandable. Still, she could at least fake some sympathy for a guy who just lost $43,000…

In an interview, Kyra, utterly irrelevant to the storyline (and the season), says that if Leo wants to “give up,” the cast should let him – Do none of these people understand what it means to lose $43,000?!?! It’s not like Leo wants to pull a Brandon Tindel and quit the show because he misses his girlfriend, his livelihood is at risk! And to hear this take from Kyra, who gave up during last episode’s challenge, is richer than Angela, Kyland, and Tyson’s entire alliance! (I know she was sick, but still!) Despite the seemingly massive stakes, Leo decides to stay in the game… Am I the one who doesn’t understand what losing $43,000 means…?

The Challenge:

Hope you like Mario Kart, because the episode’s challenge is “Balloon Battle” reskinned. In “Wreck-reational Driving,” each pair drives a car with four balloons attached to its back. While circling a dirt arena and avoiding obstacles like barrels, tires & boulders, teams aim to pop their opponents’ balloons. Lose all four balloons (or control of your car) and you’re out. As usual, last-place team lands in elimination – Last team standing (driving) wins. To Challenge up the affair, each duo must designate one partner as the driver, who’s blindfolded, and the other partner as the navigator, who gives directions. 

“Wreck-reational Driving” is a welcome change from all the heights-over-water, math-solving “action” we’ve witnessed in the season’s other challenges, but it still falls short of satisfying. While there are entertaining moments: Enzo’s frustrated that driving blindfolded is hard. Ben high-centers his & Desi’s car on an oil drum. Danny squeezes in a Kiki shout-out – There are far more mechanical failures. All but one team are eliminated not because their balloons get popped, but because their cars break down, and the pair whose balloons are all popped (Justine & Danny) was driving 1mph because their car was about to break down. 

Alyssa & Leo’s poor communication (She directs them into a dirt mound while Leo’s driving full-speed.) puts them in last place, while Cayla earns her & Domenick their first challenge wins via her own communication style, which we’re told at least three times is “clear and concise.”

Talk Gamey to Me:

Cayla & Domenick are exactly the type of contestants I want to have power: outsider underdogs who’re giddy to make ~big moves.~ Either Angela, Kyland, or Tyson (and their partners) will compete in The Arena against Alyssa & Leo, but who’ll draw the shortest straw? Tyson’s partner Sarah volunteers, in hopes she can finally earn 5,000 Challenge Bucks by stealing Alyssa & Leo’s. But rather than help Sarah, Cayla & Domenick prefer to hurt either Angela or Kyland. Both have repeatedly ignored Cayla’s attempts to ~talk game,~ and both voted Dom into elimination several episodes ago. 

Feeling vulnerable for the first time all season, Angela makes an offer to Cayla & Domenick – As the Final approaches, contestants who lack the Challenge Bucks to qualify will need to start stealing them in elimination, like Sarah tries to in this episode. Angela promises that if in power, she’ll protect Cayla & Dom should one of their future partners volunteer to compete in an Arena. Is it obvious that Angela’s scrambling? Sure, but her pitch for safety is a lot better than Kyland’s, who does that signature Kyland thing where he says lots of words, all mostly meaningless. He promises to remember and “repay” any potential protection from Cayla & Domenick, but doesn’t specify how or when… Not great, Bob. Factor in Dom’s disdain for “Love Island girls,” and Kyra & Kyland’s future looks stormy (sandy, too)…

The Arena:

A large wall and two racks of several chained up, 20-pound medicine balls wait in the sand pit for the episode’s unlucky competitors. Cayla & Domenick reveal, to no one’s surprise, that they’ve chosen Kyra & Kyland to compete against Alyssa & Leo.

The Arena game is called “Ball and Chain.” Teams start on opposite sides of the wall. At the top, 12 trivia questions (six per pair), all with numerical answers, are concealed. One partner lifts the other to reveal a question. To answer, teams untangle the medicine ball with the correct number printed on it. Then, via another lift from their partner, players place the ball in a slot above the corresponding question. First team to correctly answer all six questions wins.

Strategy takes center stage for the third consecutive elimination: Alyssa & Leo surge into an early lead via Leo’s superior lifting technique, letting Alyssa stand on his shoulders. Over the Garden Arena wall, despite Kyland & Kyra’s significant height advantage, their approach (Kyland picks her up, then holds her by her legs.) cuts off Kyra at the knees and makes balancing difficult.

Eventually, Ky & Ky adjust their technique and overtake Alyssa & Leo. But as Kyra places the last medicine ball atop the wall, she stumbles, falls off Kyland’s back, and pulls the ball down with her – Luckily for them, the ball was in the wrong spot… (A cow has four stomachs, not six.) Soon, both teams are focused on their final question. As Kyra & Kyland attempt to figure out how many times Madonna’s been married (twice), Alyssa & Leo wonder how many albums Adele’s released (four). Kyra & Kyland finish first, but with an incorrect answer. Moments later, Alyssa & Leo are met with the same result, one wrong answer. It’s a race to fix mistakes, but when Kyra & Kyland start switching correct answers, (They don’t know which are wrong, only we do.) they unintentionally hand the win to Alyssa & Leo.  

It’s disappointing to see a Challenge elimination be determined by two pieces of pop culture trivia, and I’m confused when T.J. tells the cast that “Ball and Chain” is one of his all-time favorite eliminations. Though, there is some satisfaction in seeing Kyland, who often brags about the bottomless basin of factoids that is his brain, get eliminated via a trivia game. His partner Kyra’s exit is less impactful. I was hoping she’d stick around as a Love Island number for Justine, but instead, her main contribution to the season is getting sick that one time, a storyline that was never resolved… I guess she got better…?

As Kyland leaves The Arena, so does the final member of the once-dominant Cookout alliance. In just seven episodes, five of the six Big Brother 23 Houseguests were eliminated – Alyssa is all that remains, and with another $6,500 added to her Personal Challenge Account, she’s now the richest woman in the game. After a second outstanding Arena performance, her partner Leo is Final-qualified, too, but it seems unlikely that any women will change their minds about wanting to be his partner. They’ve decided he stinks, and no amount of holding an entire person on his shoulders can change that. Fortunately for Leo, it also seems like the negative opinions of him are about to matter waaay less, because as the episode ends, T.J. announces that he’s “tired” of The Algorithm – Is the season about to turn solo?    

Leftovers:

-Other nails in Kyland’s coffin: After getting eliminated in “Wreck-reational Driving,” Kyland says that if he has to see another Arena, at least he’ll be competing alongside a tough competitor like Kyra… Uh, oh… But the real tell that Kyland was in trouble came weeks ago – After Cashay & Domenick are voted into elimination by Angela & Kyland, and win, Kyland tells us that he’s not worried about repercussions because he doesn’t think Cash & Dom are capable enough Challengers to ever be in a position of power… Say, what’s that dripping down Kyland’s face…? Oh… It’s egg…

-During “Ball and Chain,” one of Alyssa & Leo’s trivia questions is to name how many lives a cat has… Someone in production really wants Leo to win…

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Thanks for reading! Come back next Wednesday for another Challenge: USA recap!